1. |
Lo-Ruhama
02:44
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I gave it all. Slipped underneath the door and yet you shun. Your welcome mat, a sad sick contradiction. I ring. I ring that bell so many times. There must be someone home. I’m here. I’m here. I’m always here but still you think you’re alone. Fighting through resistance trying to reach someone unreachable. It’s all so wrong.
A coward still. Accepting grace? Oh no you wouldn’t dare. You whore yourself to all about whom you don’t give a care. You’re there. You’re still out there but now your soul is nowhere to be found. Just go away forevermore before I tear that empty house down. Residence deleted from the list of places I might call my home someday.
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2. |
A Thought to the Head
02:38
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Got me thinking bout it every day how the same song is heard with all the old words. Standing motionless, I’m here to stay. Though there’s no need to cry, I can’t seem to fly like I did in a dream under skies long ago, where my music was heard for to touch just one soul.
Got me thinking bout it every day how each girl passes by. Don’t see a reason to try. Away beyond the crowd she must be there. I’ve got so much to share. Want so much to care like I did in a dream under stars long ago, where my heartbeat was felt for to touch just one soul
If you think about it every day is a shadow of the last, soon presently past. Putting it on the line’s the only way. Gotta walk through the door to see if there’s more than a dream, disappears every time that I wake. For one chance to be real, offer my soul to take.
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3. |
Untitled
05:56
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Wish I could be hated because I love you, but I’m only hated because I am me. To love you, love you. To love you, love you. My love can only hurt. My compassion does no good. My faith can move nothing. My whole life not worth a thing to them, them, to me, me. I can’t accept what I’ve done to you. I can’t accept what you’ve done for me. Can’t hold on long to trusting you. How much more do I have to lose until I get it, until it changes? Broken down by what I know. Torn apart by what I don’t. Pressed down but not crushed, never to thrive or give up. I’ll never, never, get better, never. To love you, love you. To love you, love you. Wish I could be hated because I love you, but I’m only hated because I am me.
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4. |
I Don't Even Know
04:23
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A real friend of mine accepts who I am, always around, and wants to be there. A real friend of mine wouldn’t hold the truth from me, and never stop wanting me to care. If that’s really what a friend is, I’m afraid I’ve had none. Maybe it’s too much to ask for, But I know a friend should never say “I’m done.” I need to know what I need now. All I know is that it’s gone. Tell me. What should I ask for? Cause I don’t even know just what I want. I want to stay sane. I want to be happy. I want to care, but not too much. I want to love, but people gotta want it, and no one wants to be loved by who they don’t like.
You’re telling me to just be myself as long as myself is only what you choose. You’re telling me to just be myself, just be it somewhere else. We’re finished with this ruse. If that’s really the cause for rejection, I’m afraid I’ll never change for you. Maybe I need some improvement, but I know I’ve only showed what’s true. I’ll never make it all alone now. Failure will be my only friend if who I am can’t be accepted. But I don’t even know if that’s what I should want. As long as I’m sane I’ll never be happy. I’ll always care too damn much. I’ll never love if I can’t be liked, and the future for all those things aint looking so bright.
The only way to make it in this world, be the loudest, most arrogant, know it all man. The only way to make it in this world is to suck up hard on everyone you can. If that’s really how to make it, I’m afraid I’ll never kiss your ass. Maybe I’m way to pathetic for this pride, this moral tainted mass. I’ll never make it with my convictions. Failure will destroy me in the end. Tell me. What should I ask for? Cause I don’t even know just what I want. I want to create. I want to conquer. I want to work hard but not too much. I want to succeed, but first I gotta know.
Tell me. What the hell is success? Oh tell me what the hell is success? Oh tell me what the hell is success? Oh tell me what the hell is success? Cause all I really know is it’s not this.
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5. |
The Ballad of Bradstock
07:15
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I went on down to Bradstock looking for something to do, but when I got to Bradstock all I found was a crowd of people I never knew. Too many faces in here. I am shy. I cannot get through. Drinking Sunkist in the corner, all that’s left to do is talk to the lady in blue. Excitement all around us carries on with loud simple spew. But I cannot be shallow like that. Good to know you are feeling a little awkward too. The orange shore receding oh so slow in my cup, the final summer dew. Playing rummy on the couch one on one, all the while talking to the lady in blue. I will never fit in this world. All the girls I meet make me want to puke. But you are so much different from them. You are not afraid to only ever be the real you. What is this new feeling in me? I was blind to all the beauty within you. Am I really seeing all I’ve missed in a girl? I’m not afraid to talk to this lady in blue. Escaping all the noise, we met outside. Room to think out here, no one in the way. Despite what I would call the perfect place, I’m afraid I can’t think of anything more to say.
So tell me what am I to do? Tomorrow I go back to school. I wish that I could stick around to figure out just what I’ve found. A girl that seems to lack the flaws who keeps on breaking all the laws of what I thought attracted me. No caution, lust or sympathy has even entered in my mind. You’re soon to find I’m not the kind to try to show off what I’ve got. I tend to point out what I’m not. I hope that you have understood that my intentions may be good, but I’m not what I seem to be. There is so much that’s wrong with me. I’m weak and broken hurting bad from failures in my life. I’ve had the living breath knocked out of me by those who said they cared for me. Am I crazy to believe that in this place I might conceive of something I could hold on to, a thought, a dream of loving you? Should I say how I feel today or get in my car and drive away? The latter choice approaching fast. Wish I could make this moment last. I’m so unsure of what I feel, of what is fake and what is real. I think it means, well I don’t know. I guess I should just turn around and go.
I went on down to Bradstock looking for something to do. Somehow it was the best night I could’ve had. It is true, thanks to the lady, thanks to you.
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6. |
Silence
03:28
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Been so long since it felt good to know another in my world. Can’t remember what’s gone right. All the embers fade to join the night. Grow friendship sowed. Builds up slow from below. At what cost? Where’s the loss? Fatal blow that to well I know.
Though we met not long ago, I can’t help but know there’s a flicker in my heart. Though it’s being smothered, it still sparks. No where to go. Truth be told. I can’t know if you can’t see what could be, or the way. I can’t say.
Distance grows as time runs out. I’m too afraid to let it out. Better that you never know. Pain is softer as I lay down low. Oh final flow. Melting snow covers glow. Silent streams. Inside screams for the one forever gone.
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7. |
Transition
03:34
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Empty bench in open space, reminding us of future grace. Our names are carved upon this ground. Not sure if we are lost or found.
Crying out with this appeal, "Show me anything that's real."
Mess with my heart and steal my soul. Was this your bitter ending goal?
There was a time when love felt strong, but this isn't the place where I belong. Left unprotected, full of fear. God has a plan and He is near.
In arms of friendship, hold me tight to get me through one more night. Tenderness follows after a cry. There’s no good way to say goodbye.
And now you say, it’s time to go. The words resound. They told me so. You hang up, and here I die. I hate the way we said goodbye.
How did you find me at this place, compassion rolling down your face, and making puddles on the floor of everything we knew before?
Open window. Shut the door to all the lies he’s told before. Since I met you, now I know hope is found, so I can grow.
I know the truth but feel the lie, now I no longer have say goodbye. I know the truth and feel the lie. I don’t have to ever say goodbye.
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8. |
Beyond Beauty
07:08
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Broken alone
Wander below
Stars still and old
Too afraid to show
Beauty shines through
Clouded by a fool
Knowing one being
Surpasses all he’s seen
A single creature that exists
Beyond beauty
Only recognizable
By a heart that loves her
She could not know
The curse of her gaze
Eyes deep with pain
Little hope remains
The way she moves
A heart wrenching storm
Happiness torn
By the unknown
Lost it all
As soon as I
Saw true beauty
All I am
A big mistake
One of many
Left here to dwell
On this mystery
Presence that haunts
Every ounce of me
How can this be?
Why must I see?
That which can’t be
Held close to me
If only I could be blind to it
It’d be easy not to love her
Beauty amplifies the pain
No loss of wonder
None can posses
Beauty like this
I can’t accept
Anything less
Now I can see
Nothing can be
Ever for me
Never for me
All that’s left to do
Is continue alone
On this journey
Searching for
Illusive love
Beyond beauty
Does it exist
In anyone but her
Could there be
Something else worth fighting for
All that is there
Is shown in the mirror
Hopeless despair
Blurred by a tear
This is where
I’ll always be
So unworthy
Longing just
To be loved
Beyond beauty
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9. |
To Live Again - Part 1
03:48
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What becomes of me?
My soul beneath the sea
Burdened down by grief
Weight of sorrow crushes hope
Life is closing in
But death is not a choice
Living suffocates
As guilt fills each single breath
I know that I am young
Then why do I feel so old?
Feeling like all the happiness
That I’ll ever have has come and gone
Nothing that I’ve seen
Could ever live up to this
Nothing could feel so wonderful
Nothing else could hurt this badly
What is there to do?
When there is nothing new
Nothing else worth striving for
Nothing good to fill my time
Someday I might see
Just what it’s done to me
Was it worth my while?
Worth it just to try to live
Somehow I hold on
Still trusting of a love
You have saved my soul but
Will you save me from this life?
Tell me there’s a way
Allowing me to stay
Just to live again
For I won’t die within this place
Tell me there’s a way
Tell me I can stay
Let me live again
Or let me die in your embrace
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10. |
Summer Song
06:30
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Can’t be found
Can’t be known
Till we share
All within our souls
Give to me
All you are
What you’ll be
What you see
Finding you
In the storm
Do you fit?
In my mess
Of a
Of a mind
As I find
What I’ve known
All along
A simple touch
I realize
How little I saw
Using only my eyes
A heart revealed
A sea of grace
So freely given
Hard to take
Eternal Skies
Within your eyes
And I can’t be found
Lost inside
A land beyond
All that I’ve known
Too beautiful
For what I’ve sown
And as it grows
In record time
The endless thoughts
Struggle to rhyme
I smell on you
The coming dawn
Of a bright new day
To carry us on
Slow down
I cannot breathe
To touch such beauty
So soft it’s shaking me
What have I done?
What have I done?
This summer sung
What have I done?
What have I done?
What have I done?
To deserve
This melody
Gave me a song
You gave me your song
And I’m lost for words
May I simply hum along?
What harmony
Are we in key?
Well I can’t tell
But it sounds good to me
So here we stand
Wrapped in the night
Faces reflect
Pure starlight
No we can’t dance
And yet we dance
With a lovely movement
Unsurpassed
In all of time
In all of space
We’ve never known
Such mutual grace
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11. |
Unfinished
03:08
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Used to try to love a god I didn’t even know
Used to try to try to fool myself that I was something good
Used to think that someday it would all just come to me
Used to but I found myself to be completely empty
While pacing in the dark the same repeated plea
To care about anything else, some purpose to hold
Each time I opened up betrayers stole and ran
So cold and hopeless that I almost froze in place
Don’t take me back
Don’t alter a thing
Nothing short of all that pain
Could teach me how to sing
What was gained as a child
Had never quite gone away
Freedom to live my life
Not owning a single day
Now to try to know a god I cannot help but love
You tell me how to live, I’ll tell you who to meet
I can’t do anything but I can do all things
I can’t know everything so run what you will by me
So here’s a kiss for the one I love
So here’s a shrug for all you who’ve passed me by
So here’s forgiveness for the one who broke my heart
So here’s good riddance to the selfish former self
That’s not the end
Much more to learn
What good may come my way
Is nothing that I’ll earn
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12. |
To Live Again - Part 2
03:28
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Just to live again, I couldn’t see
I never died, I never died
A massive forest hidden by one tree
Just cut it down or walk around
Inability to understand
Of what went on, of what went wrong
Holding tightly with an open hand
All that I love, all that I have
I was all worn out, my darkness spent
With nothing left to represent
Though the cords of death entangle me
I rest my case in the unseen
If to live again is what you need
Victim of crime unjustified
There’s a purpose in each place you’ve been
You’re still alive, you’re so alive
Time to cross the spot where you were hit
And left for dead, no one to hold
Someone can carry you across this street
I know you know he won’t let go
Just to live again, oh can’t you see
You never died, you never died
Take my hand and someday we might see why
We’re still alive, we’re still alive
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13. |
Good Morning Mr. Freeman
06:01
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I step on the train
I’m running late
Slept in again
My work can wait
This train is empty
There’s no one around
It takes me further
Underground
Finally I arrive
And get out walking
With my good friend Barney
I get to talking
He says it’s just been
One of those days
I agree in silence
And walk away
If I say hello
They don’t have time
They’ll talk to me later
They think that’s fine
I put on the suit
I do what I’m told
Guess I’ll watch this experiment
As it unfolds
Good Morning Mr. Freeman
Good Morning Mr. Freeman
Something went wrong
Everything’s changing
I’m feeling afraid
My mind rearranging
We paid for something
That couldn’t be owned
Consequence arising
That couldn’t be known
They’re telling me
Go up to the surface
Find some help
To save us from this mess
I picked up a gun
I walked through the door
Faced the horror
Can’t believe what I saw
Apprehension
Fills this place
An alien world
Invades my space
I wonder why
I wonder when
Or if I’ll ever see
The sunlight again
Help us Mr. Freeman
Save us all Mr. Freeman
Where does hope go
When plunged into darkness
Heading for the pit
For ultimate progress
Help is coming
But not for us
We’re part of the problem
A slice of the cost
Opposing force
Upon our doorstep
They’re coming to save the world
They’re coming to kill us
As long as I’m breathing
I’ll make my stand
They’re never gonna take me
Cause I’m the Free Man
Surrender Mr. Freeman
Die Please Mr. Freeman
They call it Zen
But I think it’s hell
I see the brain
Behind my nightmare
I took it out
But am I free?
A government man’s got a briefcase full of factors that controls my destiny
Now what to do?
I gotta choose
To take this job
Or face my death
I think I’ll live
Forget about Freeman
Forget about Freeman
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